Getting Through the Holidays After Divorce
The holiday season can be a magical time of joy, laughter, and togetherness. However, if you've recently gone through a divorce, it can also be a period filled with stress, sadness, and a sense of loss. But don't despair. Here are ten practical tips to help you navigate through this challenging time and come out stronger:
1. Manage Expectations
Managing expectations is a crucial aspect of navigating the holiday season post-divorce. The first step is to accept that traditions may change and that the holidays might look different from what one is accustomed to. It's essential to approach this period with flexibility and an open mind. Avoid putting pressure on yourself or your children to replicate past celebrations exactly as they were before the divorce. Instead, see this as an opportunity to create new traditions and memories that reflect your current circumstances.
2. Create New Traditions
While it's natural to yearn for past holiday rituals, creating new traditions can be therapeutic. Whether it's volunteering, traveling, or simply watching a new holiday movie, these fresh experiences can bring joy and a sense of renewal.
3. Prepare Logistically
Planning is crucial during the holiday season. If you have children, discuss holiday schedules in advance with your ex-spouse to avoid last-minute chaos. Be flexible and open to compromise for the sake of your children's happiness.
4. Take Note of Court Orders That Need Enforcing
Ensure you're aware of any court orders regarding custody and support arrangements during the holidays. Non-compliance can lead to legal complications. When in doubt, consult your attorney.
If your ex-spouse or co-parent fails to adhere to court orders, you should also document the issue. For instance, if they miss a drop-off, are late for a pick-up, or fail to make child support payment, you should make a note, especially if this is a habitual occurrence.
It is also important to note that child support payors cannot miss a payment during the holidays if they buy their child gifts. In some cases, parents may try to argue that they used their child support payment money to buy holiday presents, but that is not an accepted practice.
5. Practice Self-Care
The holidays can be stressful, so remember to take care of your physical and mental health. Exercise, eat healthily, get plenty of sleep, and engage in activities you love.
6. Reach Out to Your Support System
You don't have to go through this alone. Reach out to friends and family for emotional support. Connecting with others who've experienced a similar situation can provide comfort and practical advice.
7. Limit Alcohol Consumption
The holiday season is often synonymous with celebration and cheer, and for many, this includes the consumption of alcohol. While it may be tempting to drown your sorrows in holiday cheer, excessive alcohol can exacerbate negative emotions and impair judgment.
This can lead to heightened tensions, conflicts, and even legal implications. For instance, if you're co-parenting, alcohol-induced actions could affect your visitation rights or child custody agreements. Or, if you have a contentious relationship, it may lead to arguments with your ex-partner.
8. Focus on the Positive
Try to focus on the positives in your life. Practice gratitude for what you have rather than dwelling on what's lost.
9. Avoid Excessive Spending
Divorce can strain your finances. Be mindful of your spending and avoid the temptation to go overboard with gifts.
If you are divorced with children, you should also discuss gift spending limits as they relate to your children. This approach not only promotes fiscal responsibility but also fosters an environment of cooperation and mutual respect between co-parents, which is beneficial for the children. You can also avoid the common pitfall of trying to win your children’s affection through lavish gifts.
10. Embrace Your Emotions (Even the Not-So-Positive Ones)
It's natural to feel a range of emotions during this time—sadness, anger, loneliness, or even relief. Instead of suppressing these feelings, acknowledge them. Speak to a therapist or a support group if necessary. Healing begins with acceptance.
Get Help with Enforcing Your Family Court Orders
Jason M. Barbara & Associates, P.C. is committed to helping clients seek legal help in enforcing their court orders. If your ex-spouse or co-parent violates your child support, child custody or visitation, alimony, or other family law court orders, our team can advise you of your legal rights and help you take action to get the other party’s compliance with the orders.
To request a free initial consultation, call (516) 406-8381. We look forward to hearing from you.
